that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
