There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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