awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
