U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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