I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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