is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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