We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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