I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
