what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize