I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
