I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
