i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
