You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I did not marry a roomba.
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