Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
