plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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