He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
love makes seman taste better
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize