i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
