Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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