Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

(248): View more from Michigan

Gross. gingers suck

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(313): Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you (248): Gross. gingers suck http://tfl.nu/yt8q

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(310): View more from California

i was born a porn star she said

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(310): i was born a porn star she said http://tfl.nu/fyi2

Replies (12) Good night (3182) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?

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(785): So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor? http://tfl.nu/b721

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(305): View more from Florida

i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

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(305): i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer. http://tfl.nu/jibz

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(505): View more from New Mexico

These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"

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(505): These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?" http://tfl.nu/1vuh

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.

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(304): i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers. http://tfl.nu/rz0s

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(281): View more from Texas

Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.

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(281): Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character. http://tfl.nu/f69z

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(705): View more from Ontario

her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken

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(705): her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken http://tfl.nu/6ixh

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(206): View more from Washington

Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.

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(206): Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit. http://tfl.nu/8fs8

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Are you still goin to the xmas party?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Yaaaa why?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .

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(902): Are you still goin to the xmas party? (1-902): Yaaaa why? (902): Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field . http://tfl.nu/wque

Replies (5) Good night (1562) Bad night (957)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.

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(304): Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad. http://tfl.nu/m6pm

Replies (5) Good night (1514) Bad night (405)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?

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(202): Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry? http://tfl.nu/phvz

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(585): View more from New York

You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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(585): You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you. http://tfl.nu/gcz1

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(540): View more from Virginia

I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?

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(540): I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey? http://tfl.nu/z446

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

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(412): okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain" http://tfl.nu/zllc

Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (328)

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