Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.