I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I look better un-naked...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?