you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off