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Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was born a porn star she said
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
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