He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
