She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
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You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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