my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
