This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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