i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
