Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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