From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
