Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
