ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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