no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
