Say something about gay babies.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
