I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
