But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
