Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
