me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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