Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
