Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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