I hope mine doesn't look like that
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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