just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
And then he peed in my hair
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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