she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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