So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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