There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
