had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize