i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize