how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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