U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My pussy is not your playground.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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