yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
