I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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