I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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