smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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