I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize