i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
God I need to hump something, right now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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