he thought i was a dude.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
