So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize