Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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