Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
