You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
