please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Fuck appropriateness.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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