I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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