Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize