I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
