she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
