He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
